It’s funny how the Holy Spirit works through our lives day to day: through our relationships, the Word & our pastors.

This month my church did a series called Uncommon. God obviously knew I needed this series this month!

I didn’t realize how broken my views of relationships were until this series. My view was a lot like the world’s view instead of God’s view. Uncommon was so powerful for me that I wanted to share some of my thoughts & notes.

 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” -Romans 12:2


Even though people in your past may not have treated you the best, shown commitment, or hurt you Jesus is committed to us.

He’s committed to prioritize you. He’s not going to make you feel like you are last on His list. He’s not going to forget about you like other’s may have.

He’s committed to pursue you. He wants your heart. He wants you. He isn’t idle when it comes to your heart. Maybe others have given up on you because it’s too much work. He never will. Maybe others have given up on you because of your mistakes. He never will. He will never stop pursuing and wanting you.

He’s committed to protect you. He will watch over your life. He’s not going to hurt you like other’s may have in the past. He wants to protect your heart. A place to run to in times of struggle and hurt.

He’s committed to meeting you in your need. If you need boldness, he has it for you. If you need Him to show you love, He has plenty of that. His whole story is based on love for us.


There are many barriers of communication, but one that really stuck with me was negative interpretation & false beliefs. This is the part where I give past relationships power to control my present relationships. & why do I do this? I am terrified of the hurt that comes with all relationships. I don’t want to feel hurt again, over and over. When we have broken relationships they become the standard we compare all of our relationships to. I have known selfish relationships, broken relationships, and hurtful relationships. I tend to judge everyone’s heart and motives based on those broken relationships.

 “My judgments of everyone’s actions are never true, but I have trained myself to have this filter that tells me they have a secret agenda. They just want something from me. They’re just using me.” -Pastor Scott

There are also many types of effective communication. Affection, or loving and being loved by others, is one.

“If you can’t freely express love, you’re not free.” -Pastor Scott

These words are true in so many ways. You can’t say you’re free but turn around and run into the walls you put up.

For so long I have thought I am free in Jesus & have complete joy in Him. When I heard those words, I realized how high the walls around my heart have been. My joy was little compared to the joy I could have. Joy of living in love, not fearing love because of broken relationships. Joy of not worrying about being hurt & enjoying friendships.

“On the worst day you need to know deep in your heart you are loved, even when you feel like you don’t deserve it.” -Pastor Scott

I have been focusing on scripture that talks about God’s love lately. I can now say, confidently on my worst day, I know I am loved by my faithful Creator. I hope everyone can know this truth for themselves.


Conflict comes when we have expectations of others that can’t be met.

“We expect something from other people that can only come from God.” -Pastor Scott 


How many times have you expected others to be perfect or to fix you? There are so many things we try to get from others that can only come from God. Something women tend to look for from others is worth & love. However, if we base our worth off of relationships with people it will fail. You can’t let others determine your worth. Eventually you will be exhausted from trying to be perfect & trying to not disappoint people.

We’re all broken and messy people. Relationships have conflict. Relationships have unavoidable hurt. But relationships were created for good. To lift each other up, to do life together, to share and laugh with friends.

“Relationships are dangerous but worth it.” -Pastor Scott

(Is it possible to do two MIC DROPS in one service?) Pastor Scott was talking straight to my heart.

Alyssa, isn’t the joy and love from relationships worth the possibility of getting hurt? Isn’t it time to step out and let people in without fear? Isn’t it your time to stop letting the brokenness control everything?! What if you step out and make lifelong friends who will help you succeed & follow your passion?


Pastor Richard preached for the ending of this series on influence in our relationships.

“God’s grace and healing helps us make the choice to influence people even though we have been hurt in the past.” -Pastor Richard

People might disappoint you, make mistakes, act selfishly, or betray you. But Jesus never gives up on you.

To have influence in this world, we need to have relationships. We need others encouraging us & helping us succeed. We also need to be encouraging others & pushing them to succeed. Our influence can be so powerful if we let God use us.

If I want to have influence, I need to tear down the walls guarding my heart. If I want to be an influence, I need to show others even though broken relationships hurt, they aren’t the end. We can find uncommon relationships, we can build uncommon relationships & we can be the uncommon person amidst all of the brokenness.

My heart is changed after this series & I pray I never forget the truth that has been spoken into my life. I am so thankful Jesus’s love is perfect, even though other people’s love isn’t. Jesus’s love makes me so joyful & unafraid of people’s brokenness. Knowing His love is: walking fearlessly into relationships with a heart ready to love others. It’s forgetting all the wrongs done against you because what He has for you now is so much better. It’s worth taking a bulldozer to the walls around your heart. It’s worth trusting He will protect your heart in your relationships.

If you want to hear the full message, check out the awesome podcasts for uncommon here!!

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